Valentine’s Day has a lot of meanings. When we were in school, we might remember being asked to share small Valentine’s Day cards with everyone in the class. As we grew, Valentine’s Day became more about romantic love and many of us realized it was a pre-packaged Hallmark holiday designed to sell flowers and chocolates. Whatever your personal feelings about the day, it’s clear that a message is being sent to our girls about what it means to be loved. How can you take control of the message of Valentine’s Day and provide a healthy alternative for your girls?

Focus on Kindness
Valentine’s Day lands on the 14 th of February every year, but so does Random Acts of Kindness week. Starting this year on February 10 th , it’s a good reminder for you and your girls to practice kindness in your family and in your community.

It started in 1982 when writer Anne Herbert scribbled “Perform random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty” on a restaurant receipt. It quickly gained momentum as a movement, making its way to t-shirts and bumper stickers. Interest was revived again in 1993 when a professor in Bakersfield, California asked his students to go out into the community to perform these random acts of kindness. As people starting sharing stories through the early days of the internet, the concept spread around the country and around the world. Random Acts of Kindness Day is February 17th. Dedicating the whole week came along only two years ago in 2018.

Be Kind to Others
Random Acts of Kindness implies that it’s something you and your daughters can do for others. That’s a big part of learning empathy and community awareness. Being kind to others starts girls on a trajectory
of kindness that will last their whole lives. Consider these random acts of kindness for your girls:
– Donate or volunteer in your community
– Write thank-you notes to teachers
– Do someone’s chore
– Make a gift for a friend or family member
– Share without being asked

Be Kind To Yourself
Kindness toward others is, of course, an important habit to cultivate. But we also need to ensure that our girls are able to be kind toward themselves. Our culture is inundated with images of perfection and impossible standards. While your daughters can absolutely be who they want to be, they may feel frustrated when they can’t live up to the expectations society places on them. They will also mirror your behavior. Teaching them to be kind to themselves can take a lot of forms.
– Be more mindful and in the moment
– Compliment themselves as a friend would
– Talk to someone about their feelings

Shift Away from Sweet Treats
Beyond kindness, it’s also important to note that Valentine’s Day comes with plenty of temptations in the form of sweet treats. Chocolate is one of the biggest industries around the holiday along with other sugary candies like conversation hearts. Being kind to themselves means making healthy choices, so how can your girls develop a healthier relationship with the sweet treats of the season?
– Shift the focus from edible treats to hand made cards and letters
– Make healthy treats together

There is also wisdom to allowing your girls to have a small portion of a sweet treat. For example, dark chocolate has some proven health benefits, so let your daughters enjoy a piece of dark chocolate to celebrate the day. Denying cravings can lead to overeating and secretive eating. Experiencing shame over food choices can have a long-term negative impact.
How will you show kindness and make healthier choices with your daughters on Valentine’s Day this year?